World Cup Notes

• Most Villainous-Looking Player: Franck Ribery, France

• Best Player Name: Stephen Girard, England

• Second Best Player Name: Kaka, Brazil

• Third Best Player Name: Rafael van der Vaart, Netherlands

• Fourth Best Player Name: Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany

• Fifth Best Player Name: Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast

• Best USA Player: Tim Howard

• Best Trivia about Best USA Player: Tim Howard has Tourette’s Syndrome

• Best Shot: Giovanni Van Bronckhorst versus Uruguay: See it here at the 12 second mark.

• Best Goal Celebration: Miroslav Klose flips after scoring on Argentina

• World Cup MVP: Thomas Müller, Germany

• World Cup Flopping MVP: Kader Keita, Ivory Coast. See him reenact The Scream after running into Kaka’s arm (and somehow Kaka gets slapped with a red card) here, at minute 2:10 of the video.

• World Cup Anti-Flopping MVP: Arjen Robben of the Netherlands should have flopped in the 82^nd minute of the World Cup Final, as he would have gotten a penalty shot and possibly won the game. He didn’t. See it at minute 2:40. Instead, Robben got a yellow card for yelling at the ref to give him the call.

• Best Team Nickname: Bafana Bafana, South Africa

• Second Best Team Nickname: Die Mannschaft, Germany

• Third Best Team Nickname: La Furia Roja, Spain

• Fourth Best Team Nickname: Los Charruas, Uruguay

• Fifth Best Team Nickname: To Piratiko, Greece

• Sixth Best Team Nickname: The Chollima, North Korea

• Best Uniform: Cameroon

• Runner-up Best Uniform: Ghana

• Sexiest Uniform: Les Bleus (France)

• Best National Anthem: Uruguay 

• Most commented-upon, and well-warranted, world cup annoyance: the drone of Vuvuzelas.
  
  
  

• Best World Cup “Fans”: North Koreans

• Best World Cup Sensation: Paul, the octopus.

• Poorest Sportsmanship: French coach Raymond Domenech refusing to shake hands with South African coach Carlos Alberto Parreira. Later, when asked to explain his lack of sportsmanship Domenech said, "I have no intention of replying to this question.” When the question was repeated, he croaked: "If these are all the questions you are going to ask me, I am going to leave you, we are not from the same world."

• Best Fashion Statement by a Coach: Joachim Loew’s lucky blue cashmere sweater, available at Strenesse.

• Worst Officiating Moment: Koman Coulibaly calls a ghost-foul, costing USA a win over Slovenia.

• Second Worst Officiating Moment: Clint Dempsey “offsides” goal disallowed against Algeria. See it at the 24 second mark.

• Third Worst Officiating Moment: Frank Lampard of England shoots a ball off the goalpost that clearly lands in goal against Germany in the round of 16, which would have leveled the game at 2-2. The goal is inexplicably waved off, and Germany goes on to win 4-1.

• Fourth Worst Officiating Moment: Clint Dempsey takes a fist to the face, drawing blood, but not a red card against Algeria.

• Fifth Worst Officiating Moment(s): It’s impossible to pick the most terrible officiating moment in Howard Webb’s performance during the World Cup Final. He couldn’t figure out when to give corner kicks. He threw yellow cards when there should have been red cards, and yellow cards when there should have been no cards. Also, no cards when there should have been yellow cards.

• Most Ridiculously Despicable, but Quasi-Legal, Play: It cost him a red card and drew a (missed) penalty shot, but Uruguay forward Luis Suarez blocked a sure-thing goal with his hand and stole a win away from Ghana. In the NBA, if you stick your hand in the basket and block a shot that was going into the net, the shot counts. They don’t make you shoot a free throw to try to score the bucket again. FIFA rules are nuts.

• Most Exciting World Cup Last Minute Score, American Edition: Landon Donovan’s goal in the 91^st minute against Algeria, catapulting the US into the knockout rounds. Like I said before, you have Tim Howard to thank for beautifully setting up that goal.

• Most Exciting World Cup Last Minute Score, International Edition: Andres Iniesta wins Spain the World Cup with only 4 minutes left in extra time.

• Best Match: Germany over Uruguay, 3-2, in the third-place game.

• Best World Cup Announcers, English Speaking: Ian Darke and John Harkes. I fancy Ian Darke’s commentary, and wish he and any of his colleagues would sign on for an NFL gig.

• Best World Cup Announcer, Spanish Speaking: Jose Antonio Camacho

• Best Comment by a World Cup Announcer: “One of the softest goals you'll ever see at this level of football. It doesn't often happen in schoolboy play.” –Martin Tyler, on Team USA’s improbable score against England goalie Robert Green.