In the news at this hour

While I bask in the glory of Roy Halladay's guaranteeing the Phillies the best record in the NL with a two-hit exclamation point, whereupon he also slammed the door on the Cy Young race (and locked it, set the alarm, pulled down the security gate, unleashed the guard dogs, and loaded his shotgun), I thought it would be a good time to clear my head of some other sports musings before I focus on the Phillies astonishing playoff run. And, you know, diversify my portfolio a little bit.

First, I have to offer my humble apologies for not believing the Phillies had this winning tear in them. When I lamented about the Phillies not signing Dan Haren and instead targeting Roy Oswalt, the Fightins appeared to be dead in the water after a historic outbreak of injuries and slumping sluggers. But Oswalt rejuvenated his career and, along with the Phillies other two aces, carried this Phillies team to it's best win total in many years. Even Placido Polanco, who I've been trashing since before the season, has been contributing to the squad by grinding out some quality playing time with a bum elbow that will need surgery after the season.

Nice work, Phillies. Like everybody else, I worry a little that this lineup will go cold during the playoffs, but I am officially in on another Red October.
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Have you heard about what happened to Kassim Osgood, Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver? Because it's nuts. Read the story for yourself, but here's how this guy spent a recent night in September:
1) Watched some TV at his girlfriend's house.
2) Got his TV viewing interrupted by a gun-wielding intruder wearing a plastic bag.
3) Had his head smashed by said intruder.
4) Was saved from further injury when his girlfriend, a Jag's cheerleader, got into a shootout with the assailant.
5) Jumped out a second-story window to escape.

He's ok, by the way, and so is his hero girlfriend. That's a keeper right there, ladies and gentlemen.
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How about Alberto Contador, Tour de France prendre fait et cause pour? A lab found a banned substance, clenbuterol, in two samples of his urine taken while he was competing in Le Tour. The lab also found plastic residues that turn up when an athlete is blood-doping.

The sample, incidentally,was taken right before Contador had a monster day on the bike that all but sealed his victory. Hmm.

In his defense, Contador claims that the drug invaded his system via a contaminated steak and that the accusations of blood doping are a "science fiction story." Hmm.

Contador is suspended from racing right now, but has not been officially found guilty of a doping violation.

Here's what I have to say about this. The ICU bent over backwards time and time again to accuse Lance Armstrong of doing everything this side of attaching a 900cc motor to his bike to win past Tours, and has succeeded in casting a shadow over Lance's victories. They jumped all over Floyd Landis less than a week after his positive performance-enhancing drug test. Yet here we are, three months after the Tour, and they are still dragging their heels about stripping Contador of his title?

What gives? I'll tell you what gives. The European-based ICU despises American competitors, and loves a hometown hero. Très lame. Contador needs to be stripped of his Tour victories and banned for life.

On a final note, it seems impossible to win a Tour de France without cheating. Maybe they should move it to the Midwest.

Roy Halladay wins his 20th game

Say hello to Mr. Cy Young 2010, because Roy Halladay just won his 20th game. Halladay's 20 wins are best in the NL, his 213 strikeouts are also tops, his 2.53 ERA is third, and he has walked a mere 30 batters. His closest competition in the Cy Young race is Adam Wainwright, but I think Halladay's wins, paucity of walks, and strikeout total will put him over the top. With two starts- at most- left in the season, I think it's safe to say that Halladay is going to win the prize.

Let's just hope he has something left for the playoffs.

Phillies management look lost at the plate; Dan Haren signs with another red-and-white team

If you look back at my critique of the Phils' offseason moves, you can see that I've proven to know more than Phillies management when it comes to assembling a baseball team. I'll return to this subject in more detail in a future post, but here's a quick review of my knowing-better:

• The Phillies should have gone after Adrian Beltre instead of Placido Polanco.

• The Phillies should have kept Cliff Lee.

• The Phillies paid Ryan Howard more money than he's worth and more than he'd probably fetch on the open market.

Also, here are some things I would have written had I started this blog only a few months earlier:

• If the Phillies were going to make an ill-advised trade of Cliff Lee, they should have shopped him around and gotten more for him (You may think the trade was Roy Halladay for Cliff Lee, but it wasn't: The Phillies traded minor leaguers Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor and Travis d'Arnaud to Toronto for Roy Halladay. They then traded Cliff Lee to the Mariners for some minor league scrubs who you will never see at Citizens Bank Park- Phillippe Aumont, Juan Ramirez and Tyson Gillies.)

• The Phillies spent too much on, and gave too many years to Raul Ibanez.

• The Phillies should have matched the Astros' paltry one year offer to Brett Myers.

I'm not saying that the Phillies would win the World Series this year had they followed my advice, but I will say that the team would be in better shape right now and for years to come. Thus, I know more about assembling a good baseball team than Phillies management. The blunders by Phillies brass have had a trickle-down effect this season, and will for seasons to come.

Let's take the Polanco example. Polanco may be falling apart, and they've already invested in him for the next two years. Meanwhile, Beltre is batting .332 with 16 home runs with 63 RBI, and is slugging .547 (Polanco is hitting a respectable .316 but only has 6 jacks). Beltre is 4th in the league in batting average, 6th in hits, 7th in OPS, and has as many homers as A-Rod. And here's a trickle-down effect you won't find on the stat sheet: With Beltre on the Phillies, Shane Victorino would be batting 2nd, where he could go back to his comfort zone of slap hitting and stealing bases. Shane wouldn't be swinging for the fences as he thinks he needs to do now, and he'd probably be hitting closer to his career average of .280.

More trickle down: Raul Ibanez has been a classy and consistent baseball player throughout his career. But he is now 38 years old and you have to wonder how much chaw is left in his cheek. His current hot streak aside, he has been miserable at the plate this season and for the latter half of last season (he hit 12 home runs post-all star break 2009, but his batting average was .232). We're looking at an aging leftfielder who swings a declining left-handed bat in a left-handed lineup, and who plays a slow left field. The Phillies are on the books for 11.5 million next season for Raul, and even if they could find a sucker to take him in a trade, Raul has a full no-trade clause. The Phillies are stuck with Raul this year and next, and he's eating up payroll the Phillies could use on a better quality player (or players!).

More trickle down: Think the Phillies could use Brett Myers' 3.24 ERA in their starting rotation? Might his 6.68 strikeouts per nine innings be worth 3.1 million dollars? The Phillies didn't think so, but former Phillies GM and current Astros GM Ed Wade did. And, in case you don't remember this, Ed Wade is a moron. What does that say about current Philies management? The Phils wouldn't need to look for starting pitching right now if they'd have re-signed Brett Myers. They could focus their resources to other team needs.

But here's the trickiest trickle: After parting with Cliff Lee for nothing, and refusing to spare some chump change for Myers, the Phillies are now desperately searching for starting pitching. They halfheartedly tried to get Cliff Lee back, but his price had gone up (Seattle flipped him to Texas for more than they gave up in the Phils trade) and it's doubtful Phillies brass could have stood the embarrassment of admitting they should have kept Lee when all of Philadelphia had condemned them for letting him go in the first place.

After all this trickling, the Phillies are in a tight spot. Their playoff hopes are slim, and their world series chances are nil. Still, they seem to want to salvage this season (and be competitive in next season) by acquiring a starting pitcher that they wouldn't need if they listened to me (and all of Philadelphia).

To fill their pitching need, the Phillies braintrust zeroed in on two targets, one good (Dan Haren) and one that will only cause more trickling sadness (Roy Oswalt).

The good one got dealt today to a team in red and white, but it wasn't the Phillies.

No, The California Angels in Anaheim picked up Dan for a big bucket of nothing. According to Christopher Harris of ESPN, the prospects the Angels gave up for Haren "are not expected to be elite players," and the only major leaguer they included in the deal is "a lucky win artist." Keith Law calls said major league player "a mediocre, back-end starter"and the minor league prospects "three bodies." Are you telling me the Phillies couldn't have tried harder to get one of the top major league pitchers, a top-of-the-rotation-talent, a player who has 3 1/2 years left on his contract at a reasonable price (he'll make less than Ibanez this year, and slightly more thereafter), who is only 29 years old, who would have made the Phillies rotation dominant... and they didn't? What the hell, Phillies??? YOU SHOULD HAVE NABBED DAN HAREN, YOU IDIOTS!

**** Note, just after I wrote this, Dan Haren was smote by a line drive while pitching for the Angels and had to leave the game after pitching 4 2/3 innings and striking out 8(!) batters. That ball was my divine wrath, but I must say I wish it hit one of the bumbling fools who make decisions for the Philiies, instead.****

The Phillies will, sadly, focus their efforts on trading for Roy Oswalt. Oswalt is a good pitcher, don't get me wrong. But he isn't the answer for the Phillies, especially not like Haren could have been. Oswalt's ERA and strikeout rate are very good, but they are trending down from the elite level they peaked at from 2001-2006. He is not currently Dan Haren level, but Roy Oswalt is a good pitcher. The thing is, he isn't a good fit for the Phillies. Why? I present the trickling of Roy Oswalt, which will settle upon the Philadelphia Phillies if they trade for him-

• Roy Oswalt does not want to play in Philadelphia. He is an confirmed country boy and wants to live near his home in Weir, Mississippi. Oswalt has admitted that he'd rather be on one of his ranches than traveling from town to town with his current baseball team, which makes me question his dedication to baseball. If Oswalt is traded to Philadelphia, he'd be even farther from his coveted country real estate, and you have to wonder if living in a big city is going to affect Oswalt's already compromised focus. Unfocused pitchers ruin games.

• Roy has played on a lousy Astros team for too long, and he is habituated to losing. Losing attitudes are contagious.

• Roy demands that the Phillies pick up his 2012 option for $16 million. This, along with his $16 million pricetag for 2011 will further hamstring the Phillies payroll and make the team less competitive.

• Roy has had recent health problems, most notably a bad disc in his back for which he has already received 3 cortisone injections. Investing $16 million a year in a pitcher with a time bomb in his back is bad business

• The Bleacher Report has a nice article about why the Phillies are better off keeping JA Happ and not trading for Oswalt; The Phillies have much more payroll flexibility if they keep JA Happ.

Dear Phillies, heed my call. Do not go after Oswalt. And appoint me GM before it's too late. Sheesh. How could you blow landing Dan Haren?!

Halladay never folds em

Roy Halladay was throwing strikes, but home plate umpire Mike Everitt was too busy trying to hide his Albert Pujols boner to notice:
(from ESPN.com)
"St. Louis had the tying run up with two outs in the fifth after Albert Pujols walked on a close 3-2 pitch to load the bases. Halladay wasn't pleased with the call by plate umpire Mike Everitt. He didn't get another close one on a 2-2 pitch to the next batter, Matt Holliday. But Halladay fanned Holliday on a 79 mph curve to end the inning. On his way to the dugout, Halladay stopped for a brief conversation with Everitt."

The author there is being generous- those two pitches were more than close, they were about the strikey-est strikes ever. But even with the bases juiced, the calls not going his way, and slugger Matt Holliday bearing down on him, Halladay kept his poise and got out of the jam.

Two innings later, Charlie Manual came out to pull Halladay after Doc gave up a two RBI laser to Pujols. Halladay tells Charlie he has this, Charlie goes back into the dugout, the crowd goes nuts, Halladay gets a groundout to end the inning, and the crowd loses they minds.

Watching Halladay pitch is like watching Pedro in his prime- every pitch is a must-see, and you always trust that the guy is going to come up huge. Wow.

One injury note. Looks like Juan Castro re-twak his hamstring and is going to miss some time. Let's hope our third-string shortstop can get it done. Ruiz moved up a spot in the lineup to compensate and went a smoking 3-4 with a double and RBI. Choo-Choo!