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Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Ranking of McDonald's Slogans

For my first post to this blog, I thought long and hard about what America is. Obviously, JB believes that baseball and OTB gambling is the answer. My answer? Advertising and fast food.

To that end, and with the goal of staying within the established Noble Turkey leitmotif of listed rankings, I present the top 10 slogans in McDonald's history.

10. "McDonald's is your kind of place" (1967) - A not-so-subliminal suggestion that, as a fat American, you should be with your own kind.

9. "It's a good time for the great taste of McDonald's" (1984) - George Orwell would've been proud of this dystopian slogan:



It gets some bonus points both because it's used in the chorus of the Barenaked Ladies version of "I'm in Love with a McDonald's Girl" and because remember the McDLT?

8. and 7. "You deserve a break today" (1971 and again in 1980) - No, you don't. You're not working hard enough. In fact, if you stopped worrying about how many breaks you deserved, you wouldn't have lost the Steadman account and you would've been promoted to district manager already.

An honorable mention is 1995's "Have you had your break today?" Same idea, this time from the supervisor's point of view.

6. "Do you believe in magic?" (1993) - Thanks to this slogan (and my parents insistence that I only listen to Christian rock during my formative years), I thought McDonald's invented this song. It wasn't until American Pie and a dreamy Chris Klein acapella'd this song into theaters that I realized the error of my ways. That was 1999. I'd lived a lie for six years.



Also, can I ask what the deal is with the fry guy barbershop quartet thing? And why are the fry guys all blue and red instead of golden brown?

5. "Smile" (2002) - One of six slogans released in the first three years of the new millennium. It seems uninspired somehow. But at least they've gotten away from how good the food is. Now it's just positive affirmations.

4. "I'm Lovin' It" & "Me Encanta" (2003) - What can I say? No me gusta. I don't mind a bilingual marketing effort, but printing the Spanish version of "I'm Loving It" on Big Mac boxes in Maine seems a little like bragging how cultured you are because you just passed Senor Brillstein's Spanish 2.

3. "Food Folks & Fun" (1990) - Yes, yes, & nope.

2. "Did somebody say McDonald's?" (1997) - Yeah. You did, just now. Look, man, if you want to go to McDonald's, just say so. Stop with this passive-aggressive, "I can only suggest it if someone else does first," bullshit.

1. "It's Mac tonight" (1985) - Another case of the golden arches appropriating popular music, this time "Mac the Knife":



It's funny how advertising can ingrain itself into your childhood memories. I was six when this creepy ad, featuring a moon-faced spokescharacter orbiting the Earth, premiered, but I still remember it clearly. And while it doesn't hold up as well as I remember, there's something about a constellation of a McNugget dunking into hot mustard and Mac saying, "Big Dipper!" that still moves me on an emotional level.



1 comment:

  1. Brilliant stuff, Mike! I feel this post on an ectoplasmic level.

    Mac Tonight and the McDLT were the gilded bars McPrisoning my supple young mind, for sure. I also feel like they represent a high renaissance of McDonalds advertising, an amalgam of interplanetary corporate greed, the naivety of the noble savage, and a strangely wholesome manifest destiny trusting in fast food as previous renaissances trusted logic and reason.

    What really moves me the most about Mac Tonight is how he has every right to be a tragically lonely figure- orbiting the earth separated from McDonalds like Orpheus from Eurydice- yet is neither embittered nor forlorn, and sings more sweetly than any earth creature can match. It reminds me of the legend of the thorn birds ...

    Also, how was Mac Tonight not in Eraserhead? Or, at least, Lost Highway. That commercial was directed by David Lynch, right?

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