Stupefying double plays and chair kickers

 Here's the latest on the Phightin Philadelphia Phillies, while I nurse my Kentucky Derby shame:

1) Roy Halladay is Winston Wolfe. He solves problems.
2) Placido Polanco either doesn't like wearing an elbow pad, doesn't like that his elbow hurts, or doesn't want to prove me wrong about his aged ways.
3) In the craziest game of the season, Ryan Howard came up small with the bases loaded against the Giants this week. Jayson Werth didn't, clearing the sacks with two outs.
4) Ryan Madson kicked a chair and broke his toe. The Phillies now have an entire intensive care ward to themselves: Joe Blanton, J.A. Happ, Ryan Madson, and Jimmy Rollins are on the DL. J.C. Romero looks like he should still be on the DL. Placido Polanco looks like he wants to be on the DL. Carlos Ruiz looks like he doesn't want to be on the DL, but should be. Juan Castro probably shouldn't be on the DL, but has a sore ham. Brad Lidge is a tender shoot, just plucked from the DL. The Phillies are missing some key pieces.
5) The Phillies lineup woke up against the mets today; they'll go back to bed tomorrow against Johan.
**4/2 Update, no they won't.**

6) In a forgettable game, Chase Utley and Juan Castro sparked an unforgettable double play. It blew my mind in super slo-mo, here's it in regular-mo.

Let's hope for a new week empty of any demoralizing trips to the Turf Club.

And teach your children to stay away from the ponies.