USA Defeats Algeria in the 91st Minute

Never forget that it was goal keeper Tim Howard who set up the winning goal for the US. He made a perfect outlet pass that caught Algeria flat-footed and set up a lightning strike down the right side of the field for the GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best cheesesteaks in Philadelphia, ranked.

1. Chubby's Identical to the set on "Boy Meets World," except for the downstairs teenage dream hangout.
2.      Tony Luke’s  Tony Luke’s keeps it bona fide. I like my cheesesteaks served in a modest take-away under the shadow of the interstate.

3.      Dattilo’s  Dattilo’s is an authentic Italian-American deli that happens to serve up a tasty steak. It’s the Super Mario of cheesesteaks: above average in all its moves.

4.      Grey Lodge Pub  This place is one of Northeast Philadelphia’s premiere attractions. A terrific steak, and a phenomenal beer list. Tap it. Best Chicken Cheesesteak I’ve ever had, incidentally.

5.      Chink’s  Yes, Samuel “Chink” Sherman’s nickname is likely the result of the racism of his day. I can’t condone it. But I can condone the timewarped trip on which this shop sends me, meat in mouth.

6.      Pat’s  Hard to evaluate a Pat’s cheesesteak with judicial clarity. When real Philadelphians eat there, it is always at 3AM after closing down a bar. Tastes really fine during a fever dream.

7.      Steve’s Prince of Steaks  I wish it was called Steve’s “Prince” of Steaks

8.      Dalessandro’s  I feel like I’m cheating on Chubby’s when I steak here, but it’s a good change of pace.

9.      Station Pizza  Value-priced, solid cheesesteak. Plunk down $3.50 and hope to evade the salmonella.

10.  Geno’s  Geno’s is a little much. Too glitzy, too expensive, too proud of itself. Still, they manage a satisfying steak despite the tourist trappiness.

The Test of the Champion: Belmont Stakes Picks

There won't be much of an audience for the Belmont Stakes this year as the “Test of the Champion” lacks a champion. Neither Kentucky Derby winner Super Saver nor Preakness Prized Lookin at Lucky will run the Big Sandy. Why? Their owners and trainers say the jewel winners need rests. This may be true, but there could be other reasons. Super Saver’s sperm stock, for example, can only go down: he won because of a muddy track at the Derby but lost at the dryer, shorter Preakness. A loss at the long, dry Belmont track kicks Saver's stud worth in the nads. As for Lucky, he probably does need a rest, but I can’t shake the suspicion that he’s skipping the run for the carnations because he is at the end of a steroid cycle. Chemically enhanced horses, I’ve learned, need longer layoffs to give their bodies a break from the juice.

Dirty, dirty sports. Nay, dirty, dirty life: everybody is on something, dog.

I’ll stop there. I don’t want to get too far away from horse business. The Belmont is today and I need to get my picks in to prove that I am becoming a pony savant. It's a tough race to call. Only two Grade 1 winners in Ice Box and Stately Victor. No horse will have raced in all three legs of the triple crown. My favorite horse, Jackson Bend, is not in the race. Neither is this blog’s official racehorse Noble’s Promise. So my only allegiance in Test of the Champion is to Fly Down, who I said before is going to win the day. I wish I could step off that bandwagon, but it’s too late.

Here are my Belmont predictions, followed by the bets I would make if all my net worth wasn’t tied up in a Nigerian business venture. Current odds and post positions in parentheses.

1. Fly down (9-2, post 5) I feel like a Nick Zito trained horse is going to win this race. I just don’t know which one. Fly Down has run well at Belmont before, and he smoked First Dude twice.
2. Ice Box (3-1, post 6) The only reason I’m not picking Ice Box to win is that I said Fly Down would win this race in my last triple crown blog post. Big Box is bred for this distance, they say. They also say they’ve calculated that Ice Box was actually the fastest horse in the Derby and that he only lost because he took a circuitous route. Sharp horse, that Ice Box.
3. Drosselmeyer (12-1, post 7) Drossel's got some bruised frogs. What the hell is that?!
4. Uptowncharleybrown (10-1, post 3) He's a live one.
5. Game on Dude (10-1, post 8) This is my preferred dude.
6. Spangled Star (20-1, post 2) This blog's Belmont Stakes 2010 official racehorse is also my longshot special. Bred for the distance by Rick Dutrow, who's not afraid to stick a needle in that ass. Ol' Spangled is going to hit the gas hard.
7. Make Music for Me (10-1, post 4) I hated the music maker before and he bit me on the rump. I still hate on him, but not as much. He's got a female trainer who would love to be the first female trainer to win the Belmont.
8. Interactif (12-1, post 12) He's been training at the Big Sandy for five weeks, so he's familiar with the track. But Interactif will have to break well from a rotten post position.
9. First Dude (7-2, Post 11) I hope a bad post position keeps this guy down. Why? I quote: Trainer Dale Romans says "a lot of Republicans" will like his horse. First Dude takes long strides, which is so Republican. But I have a feeling he's going to run out of gas before this race ends, just like America will if we don't switch over to sustainable energy. Look, if this horse wins, we invade Iran.
10. Stately Victor (15-1, post 9) Stately V wins best name on the track (despite his previously noted pointy head). He stunk in the slop at the Derby, but he's the only other Grade 1 horse in this race- we'll see if Grade 1 means anything. 
11. Stay Put (20-1, post 10) I heard about his lackluster workouts over the past few weeks. Practice? We talkin bout practice!
12. Dave in Dixie (20-1, post 1) Calvin Borel is riding, which is the only positive thing I've read about this hoss. Dave has been called a "plodder," which I don't think is a compliment for a race horse.

$24 in Bets:
$2 Place Spangled Star
$2 Place Stately Victor
$2 Win Drosselmeyer
$2 Exacta Ice Box over Fly Down
$2 Exacta Fly Down over Ice Box
$1 Superfecta Fly Down, Ice Box, Drosselmeyer, Game On Dude
$1 Superfecta Fly Down, Ice Box, Drosselmeyer, Uptowncharleybrown
$2 Trifecta box Fly Down, Ice Box, First Dude

Baseball Hyperbole As It Relates to Nat'l Tragedy (sort of)

You know what happened. If you don’t, and don’t care about the great American pastime, please fuck off. If you do care, but don’t know, watch this:

http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=8616789

Look, I don’t want to make a bad thing worse by harping on it, but this seems like madness. Armando Galarraga isn’t a great pitcher – he isn’t even a good pitcher on some nights – but he had his one moment of glory last night. And it was taken away from him by an awful call.

Does this mean Bud Selig better employ instant replay in the very next game? I don’t know. On the one hand, this seems like the perfect argument for such things. A decisive, easy-to-correct call that was tremendously important for the teams involved. But on the other hand… that won’t really help this situation, will it? I don’t see the powers-that-be granting Galarraga the perfect game after the fact. So who would this proposed instant-replay amendment help? The next guy to pitch a perfect game that gets robbed? Yeah, maybe. Whenever that happens again (actually, the way pitchers are hurling perfectos this year, it might be sooner than I think).

It just doesn’t feel like enough. Like slavery reparations given to people who were never treated like cattle.* In one way it feels like an insult to the people who actually did the suffering; in another, it feels like an empty, token gesture. Like not enough.

What it comes down to is how we grieve, I guess. Do you really grab hold of those bad feelings, almost relishing them, weeping and flailing in your Old Testament sackcloth and ashes? A real gnashing-the-teeth kind of sadness? Or do you go all 9/11 and indignant? Writing country-western songs about putting a boot in someone’s ass and turning a desert into a glass parking lot?**

For me, I can see both sides of this coin. The former seems wiser to me, the kind of grief that knows that even a call reversal wouldn’t help much. The moment is gone. And rules changes that make replay more prevalent might not ever help a situation like this.

But I also know how it feels to be wronged and want revenge. I’m the king of plotting the demise of people who’ve cut me off on the highway or stolen my beautiful, 52” television. My tweet/Facebook status immediately after the call: FUCK JIM JOYCE. I joined an FB group of a similar name, even, which I am now regretting as I write this.

In the end, though, it was great theater. It’s just too bad it had to come at the expense of a pitcher who will probably never come close to that again.

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*Note: No, you can’t compare the two. Except that you kind of can. I’m not making light. I’m just noting a feeling of similarity I have in my gut.

**Note: Dear Lord, am I bombastic and full of hyperbole or what? It’s certainly ridiculous to compare the tragedy of 9/11 with a blown call in a goddamn baseball game. I’d never make that straight comparison. But the reactions to the latter seem, to me, like a microcosm (a smaller, infinitely less significant microcosm) of the former.